Weary of my own hypocrisy. Weary of my heart not matching what I portray on the outside. Weary of habitually wearing a spiritual mask that I might please and impress others around me. Weary of pretending to be "religious." Weary of "playing church." Weary of social Christianity.
Weary of bowing to human traditions when all I really want is God. Weary of sermons that accuse me of the sin of selfishness because I come to "church" with needs and desires......the need and desire to experience and take part in the mutual edification of the body and the need/desire to see the Lord Jesus Christ made visible through the every-member functioning of His body (adapted from Frank Viola).
Weary of relying on religious knowledge and my own righteousness. Weary of being one of those prudish....religious....judgemental ......know it all Christians (taken from Dejah) when in reality I am nothing, know nothing, and can do nothing without the power of the Spirit of God.
Weary of repeatedly violating the following Scripture, not to mention frightened by the consequences of my actions:
"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured you." (Matthew 7:1-2 NIV)
Or in The Message, "Don't pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults - unless, of course, you want the same treatment. That critical spirit has a way of bommeranging."
OUCH!
I totally identify with the words written by Phillip Keller in his autobiography, Wonder O' the Wind:
"It was not that we neglected the church, the Word of God, or our daily devotions. We did not. Quite the contrary. Like other millions of modern-day Christians, we went through the regular routine of religious rituals, but they were dry as the dust in my sheep corrals, and just about as barren.
Almost by default I concluded subconsciously that my joy in life could come from the earth and need not come from Christ.
Yet the strange irony of my inner spiritual stagnation was that deep down within my spirit there was an intense hunger to really know God. There persisted an insatiable thirst to commune with Christ. But how?"
Thus I run and will continue chasing that sweet communion, hopefully not in my own strength, knowledge or abilities but instead with a spirit of humility - the poverty of spirit spoken of in the Sermon on the Mount:
"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." (Matthew 5:3 NIV)
"You're blessed when you're at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule." (The Message)
And then might I share the exaltation of Christ with my brothers and sisters and those who are outside the family:
"Now that I've put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand - shine! Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you'll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven." (Matthew 5: 14-16 The Message)
1 comment:
Sorry I am behind on the reading. But I am trying to catch up.
I am currently reading a book called "Lessons from San Quentin" by Bill Dallas with George Barna. Thought you might like this
They wrote the following in a chapter titled, "Choose Sustaining Faith" and in a subtitle, "Relax in your faith."
"American culuture is founded on the notion of accomplishing specific outcomes...We want to see a track record.
But heaven's culture is based on luxuriating in the presence and majesty of God. When you are with your best friend, you are able to forget your cares and relax. And that's how it should be in our relationship with God. As Brennan Manning says, 'God loves you as you are and not as you should be.'
This doesn't mean that we ought to become complacent or wimpy, but that we should pursue a faith that is tranquil and not burdensome....it si often hard for us to abandon our guilt, embrace grace, appreciate the pain involved in real growth, and simply enjoy the presence and working of God in our lives.
We often stress over our faith, as if we are not doing doing enough to please God. We forget that Jesus said, 'Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light' (Matthew 11:28-30). How consistently and completely are you able to relax with God?"
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