In my quest for the real Jesus and an authentic life spent in service to Him, I am also charged with the responsibility of introducing my little one to Him and modeling for her what it means to walk in faith. With that in mind, I decided to read the book "Why Christian Kids Rebel" by Dr. Tim Kimmel - hoping to enlighten myself on the causes in order to avoid them along our journey together as a family.
In the process I was blessed with experiencing one of my favorite words in the English language - serendipity, an unsought for treasure. What I mean is God used the book to help me understand my current struggle with Western Christianity and the institutional church. I am "rebelling" against "the church" as we know it here in America for much the same reasons that some teenagers raised in Christian homes rebel against their parents.
I shared with my husband that through reading this book, I might be starting to understand myself and my issues - to which he guffawed so vigourously I fear he might have wet himself. Can a crazy person really understand what makes them crazy, and if they do, are they really crazy (i.e. Catch 22)? It is always such a blessing to be the comic relief for your loved ones.
An example from the book might help explain what I mean:
"Many rebellious kids are simply tired of life in the attic. They are tired of hiding. They are tired of the lethargy in their souls and the atrophy in their spiritual muscles. They are bored with a faith that takes no risks. They want to know either that their God is big enough and powerful enough to provide them safety among their enemies, or that He isn't. They especially want to see parents who claim to believe this living their lives in the face of their spiritual enemies."
Consider that statement with me as the kid and the institutional church as the parents. I am tired of the disconnect I see between the sermons preached, the Sunday School lessons taught, the Bible studies studied and actual lives of God's people, His bride. For instance, I cannot help but think what a single mother struggling to feed her children in this economy thinks of Jesus and His people when she drives by the church parking lot filled with Hummers, Beemers, etc. and sees the advertisement for a mulit-million dollar building campaign.
Wait a minute, you say, we need the bigger, fancier building so we can host better programs so that she and her children can come to know Jesus. Really? Buildings and programs change lives? Buildings and programs show people the love of Jesus? You're right, let's forget about the power of coming alongside her, bearing her burdern and putting food on this woman's table. That is too simple, not at all how Jesus showed us to care for those dear to his heart - the poor, the widow, the orphan, the alien amoung us.
Let's truly be honest. We need that basketball court and walking track so that we, our children included, do not have to come into contact with the filthy world. Never mind that is why we are still here.
And then the sermon on Sunday morning goes something like this: We are all horrible people because we come to church expecting something for ourselves and we need to get a missional mindset, get out there and get our hands dirty in the lives of the unsaved around us. All true.
But here is the rub. Next Sunday the sermon will admonish us concerning all the programs, activities, classes, etc. that need more volunteers in order to be successful. So, in order to prop up the institution and feel like "good" Christians who serve God, His Bride is guilted into attending more church services and spending all of her spare time at the church house - all the while the lost and hurting around us continue in their disbelief and wonder about this love we are always going on and on about.
Therein lies the disconnect of which I speak. We are taught to do one thing but then forced to do the very opposite by the mechanism of the very instituition that is teaching us what it means to be a Christ follower.
So Christianity is turned into a club that we are members of, a mere hobby that we participate in - instead of the authentic, sacrificial life of Jesus - The Word became flesh and dwelt among us. This sickens me, because I must count myself among the club members and hobbyists going through the motions of a Christian, living a selfish life consumed only with my comfort and the pursuit of my own life, my own liberty, and my own happiness. I have become that which breaks my heart for Christ and His Bride. I have allowed myself to fall more in love with the symbols and traditions and culture of my faith than the Author and Finisher of my faith - the Savior of my soul. I have turned God into the family pet (from Kimmel).
May the words of Teddy Roosevelt become the battle cry for myself and my fellow brothers and sisters: "Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat."
Upon realizing that the only people I know who are truly living the daring, glorious, risky life and raising their children in that environment are my precious friends serving overseas and working in a "ghetto school" in OKC, I chose to share this insight with my husband. I was greeted yet again with that knowing laugh, as if he were saying , "Now you are getting somewhere, sister."
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Friday, March 27, 2009
Head or Heart?
I have often said that the last thing most Western Christians need to do is attend another Bible study. Of course, that statement is usually greeted with looks of disbelief, shock, horror, etc. Track with me for a minute before you turn me in to the heresy police.
Why do we do it? Why is it that after countless "Beth Moore" (you know her - the Baptist poster girl) studies, so many of the women I meet are still in bondage to the same sins and living defeated lives (if they were truly honest, that is)? Why is the inherent, sharper than a two-edged sword, Word of God not transforming more lives?
Somewhere along the way, we have shifted from studying the Bible as a means to know Jesus more to studying the Bible to know the Bible more. Which makes sense, considering that is how we are measured as Christians - our ability to give the correct Sunday School answers, articulate theology, name the apostles, quote verses, creeds and catechisms, and win the Bible sword drills. The more knowledge we have, the closer we are to God. Right?
The problem with all that knowledge is that so little of it actually makes it from our heads to our hearts. If I am not mistaken, David hid God's Word in his heart, not his head, that he might not sin against God. I think that I also read somewhere in The Book that to whom much is given much, much more will be required. I see that as a personal warning - Stop learning. Don't attend another study until you actually appropriate the power and Truth of what God has already taught you in the countless studies you have already attended and then moved on from without so much as a blink of an eye. Get that performance-based, points-earning mentality out of your head - it has no place in the kingdom. Knowledge for knowledge sake actually ticks Jesus off - just read a few of the conversations He had with the Pharisees.
Ah, why don't I just share one of my favorite examples from Scripture.
From The Message:
"If you work the words into your life, you are like a smart carpenter who dug deep and laid the foundation of his house on bedrock. When the river burst its banks and crashed against the house, nothing could shake it; it was built to last. But if you just use my word in Bible studies (OUCH!) and don't work them into your life, you are like a dumb carpenter who built a house but skipped the foundation. When the swollen river came crashing in, it collapsed like a house of cards. It was a total loss." (Luke 6:48-49)
May the Holy Spirit turn God's Word from abstract information to concrete principles in our lives. May His truth move from a life lesson to a lifestyle. God doesn't want to be part of our minds. He wants to be alive in our hearts and moving our feet (adapted from Kimmel).
Why do we do it? Why is it that after countless "Beth Moore" (you know her - the Baptist poster girl) studies, so many of the women I meet are still in bondage to the same sins and living defeated lives (if they were truly honest, that is)? Why is the inherent, sharper than a two-edged sword, Word of God not transforming more lives?
Somewhere along the way, we have shifted from studying the Bible as a means to know Jesus more to studying the Bible to know the Bible more. Which makes sense, considering that is how we are measured as Christians - our ability to give the correct Sunday School answers, articulate theology, name the apostles, quote verses, creeds and catechisms, and win the Bible sword drills. The more knowledge we have, the closer we are to God. Right?
The problem with all that knowledge is that so little of it actually makes it from our heads to our hearts. If I am not mistaken, David hid God's Word in his heart, not his head, that he might not sin against God. I think that I also read somewhere in The Book that to whom much is given much, much more will be required. I see that as a personal warning - Stop learning. Don't attend another study until you actually appropriate the power and Truth of what God has already taught you in the countless studies you have already attended and then moved on from without so much as a blink of an eye. Get that performance-based, points-earning mentality out of your head - it has no place in the kingdom. Knowledge for knowledge sake actually ticks Jesus off - just read a few of the conversations He had with the Pharisees.
Ah, why don't I just share one of my favorite examples from Scripture.
From The Message:
"If you work the words into your life, you are like a smart carpenter who dug deep and laid the foundation of his house on bedrock. When the river burst its banks and crashed against the house, nothing could shake it; it was built to last. But if you just use my word in Bible studies (OUCH!) and don't work them into your life, you are like a dumb carpenter who built a house but skipped the foundation. When the swollen river came crashing in, it collapsed like a house of cards. It was a total loss." (Luke 6:48-49)
May the Holy Spirit turn God's Word from abstract information to concrete principles in our lives. May His truth move from a life lesson to a lifestyle. God doesn't want to be part of our minds. He wants to be alive in our hearts and moving our feet (adapted from Kimmel).
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Trading Passion for Glory
Why do I feel like I have surrendered my passion for the fight and instead am merely enjoying the glory of past victories? Why do "the conversations around the coffeepot in the adult Sunday School classes or in the lobby after the worship service have the hollow ring of people who haven't been in a bout for the Lord in a long time? (all words in quotations are either direct quotes or adapted from author, Dr. Tim Kimmel)
I in know way mean to be ungrateful to the Father, or my parents, or my Christian upbringing, or the countless number of people who played a large role in my spiritual history, but sometimes my skin begins to itch and I feel a certain amount of jealousy toward my brothers and sisters who have come into the family later in their earthly lives. One cannot miss the true passion in their hearts, the contagious love they have for Christ, and the willingness they possess to follow Him in the manner in which He has asked.....placing themselves in the "ongoing battle for the hearts and souls of men" despite the risks, demands, and utter loneliness it may cost them.
They have yet to be lulled to sleep spiritually by "basking in the glory of Christian busywork....volunteering, serving, participating in Christian programs," and attending church all of which can be good things except when they usurp an intimate relationship with Christ and render us useless to the actual cause of Christ and the sacrifice He made on the cross.
I can honestly say that the only battle I have actively been engaged in for the kingdom in a long time is my constant struggle to keep up the appearances of a "good" Christian while "playing church." I maintain the smile of a contented, victorious Christian all the while I want to stand up during the church service and shout, "What in the name of la ti da are we doing?" (forgive the reference to Jack's Big Music Show). "How did we allow ourselves to get to the place where "success is measured in ways that are easily quantifiable: how much you know about God, how much you serve, what public policy issues you embrace, what kind of Christian friends you have, your spiritual reputation, the kind of money you make, the amount of money you give to God, how few hassles you have in life, how well your kids behave, and how consistent your spiritual routine is." Why did we trade our passion for Christ for a convenient Christian experence. When along the way did we trade church activity for a passionate, obedient walk with God? Why do I, after being raised in a Christian home and in the church, not even know what that is?
Again, my skin begins to itch, and I desire to truly know Jesus and Him crucified - nothing else. I desire to be an authentic Christian, not a Stepford Christian. But I feel that I am at an impass.....all I have ever known and been shown (except for the few brothers/sisters I mentioned earlier) is the country club, hobby mentality of Christianity that is "enamored by the wholesome and pleasant activities of Christianity" and "enjoys the fellowship, the music, and even some of the service opportunities. But does not necessarily connect to Christianity through Christ. It is more drawn to God's people than to God Himself. Church is merely a great moral and social activity to do with our families."
I no longer want to "gravitate toward the things that make my Christian life safer and more comfortable instead of things that make my Christian life stronger."
Again, I am not sure what that is or what it looks like. So I humbly ask the Father to show me grace in my pursuit of His Son and to continue to place some of His faithful ones in my life that I might have a glimpse of Christianity that is not just something we do or something we know: it's Someone we love. May it be granted to me to truly see Christ as He is, high and lifted up - The King of Kings. I ask not for perfection, just the right perspective.
As King David once said:
"Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Do not cast me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of my salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.
Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
and sinners will turn back to you." (Psalm 51:10-13)
I in know way mean to be ungrateful to the Father, or my parents, or my Christian upbringing, or the countless number of people who played a large role in my spiritual history, but sometimes my skin begins to itch and I feel a certain amount of jealousy toward my brothers and sisters who have come into the family later in their earthly lives. One cannot miss the true passion in their hearts, the contagious love they have for Christ, and the willingness they possess to follow Him in the manner in which He has asked.....placing themselves in the "ongoing battle for the hearts and souls of men" despite the risks, demands, and utter loneliness it may cost them.
They have yet to be lulled to sleep spiritually by "basking in the glory of Christian busywork....volunteering, serving, participating in Christian programs," and attending church all of which can be good things except when they usurp an intimate relationship with Christ and render us useless to the actual cause of Christ and the sacrifice He made on the cross.
I can honestly say that the only battle I have actively been engaged in for the kingdom in a long time is my constant struggle to keep up the appearances of a "good" Christian while "playing church." I maintain the smile of a contented, victorious Christian all the while I want to stand up during the church service and shout, "What in the name of la ti da are we doing?" (forgive the reference to Jack's Big Music Show). "How did we allow ourselves to get to the place where "success is measured in ways that are easily quantifiable: how much you know about God, how much you serve, what public policy issues you embrace, what kind of Christian friends you have, your spiritual reputation, the kind of money you make, the amount of money you give to God, how few hassles you have in life, how well your kids behave, and how consistent your spiritual routine is." Why did we trade our passion for Christ for a convenient Christian experence. When along the way did we trade church activity for a passionate, obedient walk with God? Why do I, after being raised in a Christian home and in the church, not even know what that is?
Again, my skin begins to itch, and I desire to truly know Jesus and Him crucified - nothing else. I desire to be an authentic Christian, not a Stepford Christian. But I feel that I am at an impass.....all I have ever known and been shown (except for the few brothers/sisters I mentioned earlier) is the country club, hobby mentality of Christianity that is "enamored by the wholesome and pleasant activities of Christianity" and "enjoys the fellowship, the music, and even some of the service opportunities. But does not necessarily connect to Christianity through Christ. It is more drawn to God's people than to God Himself. Church is merely a great moral and social activity to do with our families."
I no longer want to "gravitate toward the things that make my Christian life safer and more comfortable instead of things that make my Christian life stronger."
Again, I am not sure what that is or what it looks like. So I humbly ask the Father to show me grace in my pursuit of His Son and to continue to place some of His faithful ones in my life that I might have a glimpse of Christianity that is not just something we do or something we know: it's Someone we love. May it be granted to me to truly see Christ as He is, high and lifted up - The King of Kings. I ask not for perfection, just the right perspective.
As King David once said:
"Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Do not cast me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of my salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.
Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
and sinners will turn back to you." (Psalm 51:10-13)
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Spiritual Lessons from a 4-Year Old
This post is a confession of sorts. And yes I do plan on asking forgiveness from the appropriate person later on today. But first, a little musing to help soothe my weary, sinful soul.
Humility comes in all sorts of packages. Believe me, as a person who habitually thinks that I know it all, I do know this. My humble pie came yesterday in the form of a memory of a precious 4-Year old who is literally out saving the world on assignment with her parents. Upon her most recent visit to our home, Emma's parents told a story that displays the spiritual wisdom of this beloved little girl.
You see, Emma and her younger sister had a friend over to play. When her parents walked back into the living room to monitor the progress of said play, they noticed that little Miss E was sitting quietly on the couch while the other two enjoyed a joyous ride around the room on their tricylces. When questioned why she was sitting out, she simply replied, "There are two tricycles and three children. I am choosing to keep the peace."
Now on to my experience yesterday - I will spare you the details and just include the nitty gritty. Basically because of a misunderstanding, I felt that an effort on my part to spend time in community with fellow believers was attacked on the basis that I was only allowed to invite people over to my home who are actually in my Sunday School class. I, obviously, was attempting to do the Lord's work and was therefore justified to defend my position, which I most certainly did.
Upon returning home from the "altercation," being the good Christian that I am, I decided to look in Scripture to see how I best should handle my "righteous indignation." And what did I find (this really isn't fair because you can see what is coming already)?
I am literally a fool. If you don't believe me, here is a sampling of what God chose to share the with me regarding my behavior and the attitude of my heart (ouch, yet again).
And then the memory of sweet Emma washes over me, and I am again reminded of the scripture that she allowed to decide her behavior:
Humility comes in all sorts of packages. Believe me, as a person who habitually thinks that I know it all, I do know this. My humble pie came yesterday in the form of a memory of a precious 4-Year old who is literally out saving the world on assignment with her parents. Upon her most recent visit to our home, Emma's parents told a story that displays the spiritual wisdom of this beloved little girl.
You see, Emma and her younger sister had a friend over to play. When her parents walked back into the living room to monitor the progress of said play, they noticed that little Miss E was sitting quietly on the couch while the other two enjoyed a joyous ride around the room on their tricylces. When questioned why she was sitting out, she simply replied, "There are two tricycles and three children. I am choosing to keep the peace."
Now on to my experience yesterday - I will spare you the details and just include the nitty gritty. Basically because of a misunderstanding, I felt that an effort on my part to spend time in community with fellow believers was attacked on the basis that I was only allowed to invite people over to my home who are actually in my Sunday School class. I, obviously, was attempting to do the Lord's work and was therefore justified to defend my position, which I most certainly did.
Upon returning home from the "altercation," being the good Christian that I am, I decided to look in Scripture to see how I best should handle my "righteous indignation." And what did I find (this really isn't fair because you can see what is coming already)?
I am literally a fool. If you don't believe me, here is a sampling of what God chose to share the with me regarding my behavior and the attitude of my heart (ouch, yet again).
- A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger (Pr. 15:1).
- A hot tempered man stirs up dissension, but a patient man calms a quarrel (Pr. 15:18).
- Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out (Pr. 17:14).
- It is to a man's honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel (Pr. 20:3)
- Don't have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lord's servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful (2 Tim. 2:23-24)
- All of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble (1 Pet. 3:6).
- Whoever spreads slander is a fool (Pr. 10:18b).
- Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another.
- Forgive as the Lord forgave you (Col. 3:13).
- Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you (Eph. 4:32).
- A fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult (Pr. 12:16).
- A man's wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense (Pr. 19:11).
And then the memory of sweet Emma washes over me, and I am again reminded of the scripture that she allowed to decide her behavior:
- If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone (Rom. 12:17-18).
- Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. (Rom 14:19)
Then my heart was softened and yet again I was reminded of my need for Jesus and His righteousness. I was taken humbly to the cross and reminded to deny myself through the truth of His Word and the actions of one of His precious ones.
In the words of Dietrich Bonhoeffer, "Self-denial means knowing only Christ, and no longer oneself. It means seeing only Christ, who goes ahead of us, and no longer the path that is too difficult for us. Again, self-denial is saying only: He goes ahead of us; hold fast to him."
Lord, may my eyes remain fixed upon You and in You find the strength to deny myself that tricycle ride and keep the peace.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
More quotes from that book - Thanks Leisa
{I want to be safe - that place where people can fail and still be loved.}
{So here's the bottom line. Do I want to stand before God's throne and say I kept a clean house, I made sure my child was athletic, musical, artistic, adn got good grades, I was present at all the important church activities, and I changed the oil in my car every three thousand miles because I was such a good steward of my blessings?
Is that all I will have to show for the gift of life? Dear God, I hope not.}
{Church happens, I learned today. It doesn't always have to be programmed and planned, pulled out of the Body like a splinter from raw flesh, leaving bits behind to fester in its wake. The Holy Spirit put in a visit too. I know that because I'm a Christian, and sometimes we just know these things.}
{Something happens to our little group. We solidify into a community, a single purpose ahead of us, a goal in sight, a small journey we agreed to take together. And that precious eupohoria of doing good together reaches out and ties us close.
I love that feeling. You know what I think it is? God smiling.
Yep, nothing profound, just a few humans in relation to God and each other doing holy work that will bring themselves no benefit other than the joy of serving others. Now this is church.}
{Good heavens, some people are just naturals to this stuff! God should have called Laney, not me. Then again, God called Moses, and Aaron was the one who could do the talking. Because there are a million miles between what God should do and what He does.}
{So here's the bottom line. Do I want to stand before God's throne and say I kept a clean house, I made sure my child was athletic, musical, artistic, adn got good grades, I was present at all the important church activities, and I changed the oil in my car every three thousand miles because I was such a good steward of my blessings?
Is that all I will have to show for the gift of life? Dear God, I hope not.}
{Church happens, I learned today. It doesn't always have to be programmed and planned, pulled out of the Body like a splinter from raw flesh, leaving bits behind to fester in its wake. The Holy Spirit put in a visit too. I know that because I'm a Christian, and sometimes we just know these things.}
{Something happens to our little group. We solidify into a community, a single purpose ahead of us, a goal in sight, a small journey we agreed to take together. And that precious eupohoria of doing good together reaches out and ties us close.
I love that feeling. You know what I think it is? God smiling.
Yep, nothing profound, just a few humans in relation to God and each other doing holy work that will bring themselves no benefit other than the joy of serving others. Now this is church.}
{Good heavens, some people are just naturals to this stuff! God should have called Laney, not me. Then again, God called Moses, and Aaron was the one who could do the talking. Because there are a million miles between what God should do and what He does.}
Monday, March 9, 2009
By Your Side
I am haunted by the lyrics to this song by Tenth Avenue North.
Why are you striving these days
Why are you trying to earn grace
Why are you crying
Let me lift up your face
Just don't turn away
Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run
To where will you run
And I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you
Look at these hands and my side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When I drank the world's sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life
I want to give you life
(Chorus 2x)
Cause I, I love you
I want you to know
That I, I love you
I'll never let you go
(Chorus 2x)
Why are you striving these days
Why are you trying to earn grace
Why are you crying
Let me lift up your face
Just don't turn away
Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run
To where will you run
And I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you
Look at these hands and my side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When I drank the world's sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life
I want to give you life
(Chorus 2x)
Cause I, I love you
I want you to know
That I, I love you
I'll never let you go
(Chorus 2x)
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Sometimes I am amazed......
How a simple passage from a book can speak what your soul has been struggling to find the words to express. Let me share a few more examples of such an awe-inspiring experience (taken from Lisa Samson's Quaker Summer) :
"See, right now I'm living in a puzzle, the box lid having just been taken off, and I stare down into the pieces, some clear, some hidden, and they work together somehow, but I'm just looking at them, smelling the woody pulp, and wondering, all the while knowing it's designed to do so, how in the world I'll make it all fit together and look like something real. Even the box lid sports no picture to guide me."
"Sometimes you have to go a little bit crazy to find the life you were meant to live."
"Do you picture Jesus as perfectly coiffed or kinda messy?"
"Messy."
"Most definitely messy."
"I'm kinda messy, at least on the inside. Is there a church out there where people can be messy?"
"Everybody's messy, hon."
"Okay, then, Mr. Smarty-Pants. Is there a church out there where we can admit we're messy?"
"I'd like to think so."
Lord, please let it be so......
"See, right now I'm living in a puzzle, the box lid having just been taken off, and I stare down into the pieces, some clear, some hidden, and they work together somehow, but I'm just looking at them, smelling the woody pulp, and wondering, all the while knowing it's designed to do so, how in the world I'll make it all fit together and look like something real. Even the box lid sports no picture to guide me."
"Sometimes you have to go a little bit crazy to find the life you were meant to live."
"Do you picture Jesus as perfectly coiffed or kinda messy?"
"Messy."
"Most definitely messy."
"I'm kinda messy, at least on the inside. Is there a church out there where people can be messy?"
"Everybody's messy, hon."
"Okay, then, Mr. Smarty-Pants. Is there a church out there where we can admit we're messy?"
"I'd like to think so."
Lord, please let it be so......
Minimal forgiveness = minimal gratitude
Ironic, isn't it? The account of the harlot annointing Jesus' feet at the home of the Pharisee. When Jesus tells the Pharisee the parable of the two debtors, one who owed more than the other. Is He really saying that the harlot had more sin to be forgiven than the Pharisee? Am I not as grateful to Jesus as some others in the kingdom, because I have not sinned as much as they? Or perhaps my sins along with the sins of the Pharisee just happen to not be as grievous?
Lord, have mercy on us in our arrogance. Forgive the attitude in our hearts that boasts how lucky You must be to have us on Your team.
Of course, my sin is as great as that of the harlot. So then the question must be, if my sin is so great therefore making my forgiveness abundant, why then the prideful heart instead of extreme gratitude?
Perhaps the words of Edna Long could help answer this, "Few of us have looked long enough into ourselves to see that what seems to us and to others as normally attractive is acutally as graceless as a scarecrow and even repulsive."
Or as Oswald Chambers once wrote, "When one really sees himself as the Lord sees him, it is not the abominable sins of the flesh that shock him, but the awful nature of the pride of his own heart against Jesus Christ. When he sees himself in the light of the Lord, the shame and horror and the desperate conviction come home."
"It is the things that are right and noble and good from the natural standpoint that keep us back from God's best. To discern that natural virtues antagonize surrender to God is to bring our soul into the center of its greatest battle. Very few of us debate with the sordid and evil and wrong, but we do debate with the good. It is the good that hates the best, and the higher up you get in the scale of the natural virtues, the more intense is the opposition to Jesus Christ...... Beware of refusing to go to the funeral of your own independence."
Perhaps the difference between the harlot and the Pharisee (and myself) is that she first saw Christ for Who He really was/is thus enabling her to see her wickedness and need for forgiveness. Much like Isaiah in the year of King Uzziah's death, when he saw the Lord sitting on a throne, lofty and exalted . What was his response? "Woe is me, for I am ruined! Because I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips; for my eyes have seen the King, the LORD of hosts." (Isaiah 6: 1-8)
As Kay Arthur stated, "When I see Him - really see Him - in His holiness, in His power, in His blazing purity, I see myself for what I am. And what I see isn't lovely at all."
Then and only then am I taken to my rightful place as the harlot who has been forgiven many, many sins, and so is very, very grateful. Indeed!
Lord, have mercy on us in our arrogance. Forgive the attitude in our hearts that boasts how lucky You must be to have us on Your team.
Of course, my sin is as great as that of the harlot. So then the question must be, if my sin is so great therefore making my forgiveness abundant, why then the prideful heart instead of extreme gratitude?
Perhaps the words of Edna Long could help answer this, "Few of us have looked long enough into ourselves to see that what seems to us and to others as normally attractive is acutally as graceless as a scarecrow and even repulsive."
Or as Oswald Chambers once wrote, "When one really sees himself as the Lord sees him, it is not the abominable sins of the flesh that shock him, but the awful nature of the pride of his own heart against Jesus Christ. When he sees himself in the light of the Lord, the shame and horror and the desperate conviction come home."
"It is the things that are right and noble and good from the natural standpoint that keep us back from God's best. To discern that natural virtues antagonize surrender to God is to bring our soul into the center of its greatest battle. Very few of us debate with the sordid and evil and wrong, but we do debate with the good. It is the good that hates the best, and the higher up you get in the scale of the natural virtues, the more intense is the opposition to Jesus Christ...... Beware of refusing to go to the funeral of your own independence."
Perhaps the difference between the harlot and the Pharisee (and myself) is that she first saw Christ for Who He really was/is thus enabling her to see her wickedness and need for forgiveness. Much like Isaiah in the year of King Uzziah's death, when he saw the Lord sitting on a throne, lofty and exalted . What was his response? "Woe is me, for I am ruined! Because I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips; for my eyes have seen the King, the LORD of hosts." (Isaiah 6: 1-8)
As Kay Arthur stated, "When I see Him - really see Him - in His holiness, in His power, in His blazing purity, I see myself for what I am. And what I see isn't lovely at all."
Then and only then am I taken to my rightful place as the harlot who has been forgiven many, many sins, and so is very, very grateful. Indeed!
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
I have grown weary......
Weary of my own hypocrisy. Weary of my heart not matching what I portray on the outside. Weary of habitually wearing a spiritual mask that I might please and impress others around me. Weary of pretending to be "religious." Weary of "playing church." Weary of social Christianity.
Weary of bowing to human traditions when all I really want is God. Weary of sermons that accuse me of the sin of selfishness because I come to "church" with needs and desires......the need and desire to experience and take part in the mutual edification of the body and the need/desire to see the Lord Jesus Christ made visible through the every-member functioning of His body (adapted from Frank Viola).
Weary of relying on religious knowledge and my own righteousness. Weary of being one of those prudish....religious....judgemental ......know it all Christians (taken from Dejah) when in reality I am nothing, know nothing, and can do nothing without the power of the Spirit of God.
Weary of repeatedly violating the following Scripture, not to mention frightened by the consequences of my actions:
"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured you." (Matthew 7:1-2 NIV)
Or in The Message, "Don't pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults - unless, of course, you want the same treatment. That critical spirit has a way of bommeranging."
OUCH!
I totally identify with the words written by Phillip Keller in his autobiography, Wonder O' the Wind:
"It was not that we neglected the church, the Word of God, or our daily devotions. We did not. Quite the contrary. Like other millions of modern-day Christians, we went through the regular routine of religious rituals, but they were dry as the dust in my sheep corrals, and just about as barren.
Almost by default I concluded subconsciously that my joy in life could come from the earth and need not come from Christ.
Yet the strange irony of my inner spiritual stagnation was that deep down within my spirit there was an intense hunger to really know God. There persisted an insatiable thirst to commune with Christ. But how?"
Thus I run and will continue chasing that sweet communion, hopefully not in my own strength, knowledge or abilities but instead with a spirit of humility - the poverty of spirit spoken of in the Sermon on the Mount:
"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." (Matthew 5:3 NIV)
"You're blessed when you're at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule." (The Message)
And then might I share the exaltation of Christ with my brothers and sisters and those who are outside the family:
"Now that I've put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand - shine! Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you'll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven." (Matthew 5: 14-16 The Message)
Weary of bowing to human traditions when all I really want is God. Weary of sermons that accuse me of the sin of selfishness because I come to "church" with needs and desires......the need and desire to experience and take part in the mutual edification of the body and the need/desire to see the Lord Jesus Christ made visible through the every-member functioning of His body (adapted from Frank Viola).
Weary of relying on religious knowledge and my own righteousness. Weary of being one of those prudish....religious....judgemental ......know it all Christians (taken from Dejah) when in reality I am nothing, know nothing, and can do nothing without the power of the Spirit of God.
Weary of repeatedly violating the following Scripture, not to mention frightened by the consequences of my actions:
"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured you." (Matthew 7:1-2 NIV)
Or in The Message, "Don't pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults - unless, of course, you want the same treatment. That critical spirit has a way of bommeranging."
OUCH!
I totally identify with the words written by Phillip Keller in his autobiography, Wonder O' the Wind:
"It was not that we neglected the church, the Word of God, or our daily devotions. We did not. Quite the contrary. Like other millions of modern-day Christians, we went through the regular routine of religious rituals, but they were dry as the dust in my sheep corrals, and just about as barren.
Almost by default I concluded subconsciously that my joy in life could come from the earth and need not come from Christ.
Yet the strange irony of my inner spiritual stagnation was that deep down within my spirit there was an intense hunger to really know God. There persisted an insatiable thirst to commune with Christ. But how?"
Thus I run and will continue chasing that sweet communion, hopefully not in my own strength, knowledge or abilities but instead with a spirit of humility - the poverty of spirit spoken of in the Sermon on the Mount:
"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." (Matthew 5:3 NIV)
"You're blessed when you're at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule." (The Message)
And then might I share the exaltation of Christ with my brothers and sisters and those who are outside the family:
"Now that I've put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand - shine! Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you'll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven." (Matthew 5: 14-16 The Message)
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